A Little Context
For those of you who don’t know me I want to give you a little intro to where I currently am in my life, because what’s the point of the internet if you can’t use it as your own personal shrink who can’t talk back and tell you to stop fixating or trying to steal her pens?
For the last two years I have been working as a bookseller in a small independent bookstore in western Massachusetts. It has been absolutely delightful for a book nerd like moi-self. I have gotten to meet famous authors like Kazuo Ishiguro, Garrison Keillor, Margaret Atwood, Hanya Yanagihara, David Vann, Emily St. John Mandel and Erik Larson, as well as meet all kinds of fantastic new authors like Leslie Parry, Sara Novic, Tiphanie Yanique, Sarah Hulse, Gabriel Urza, Cynthia Bond, Louisa Hall and Holly LeCraw. Did I brag enough? Wait, there’s more. I get free copies of books before they come out! I get to read books before you plebeians even know they exist! HAHAHA! Did you just pee a little? I did, but I’ve really been meaning to speak to my doctor about that.
And yet, despite the wonders of working in the book industry, I have decided it is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Nor is my other part time job, working as the union leader of mountain goats. It is way too time consuming, what with the goat cheese goats trying to unionize and pygmy goats constantly getting offended about everything. I swear, a couple of viral YouTube videos and suddenly you’re god’s gift! I can jump on top of stuff too!
Go home, Carol, you’re drunk.
“So, Taste Maven, what lucrative career have you chosen? It must be pretty high paying to entice you away from the cash tsunami that is peddling books in an increasingly digital world.” Well, anonymous voice, it is. I have decided to become a social worker. Please. Try to contain your outbursts of jealousy.
Sadly, not only is the career of social worker not going to leave me with mo’ money mo’ problems, but neither will whatever graduate school I end up attending next fall. But let me tell you how this is going to work out in your favor, reader. I will likely cope with the tightening of my very short purse strings by increasing the amount of time I spend online looking at things I can’t afford. And I mean all of the things I can’t afford. I recently made the discovery that Norwegian real estate websites still list homes that have recently been sold, which I appreciate because I want to be able to see everything I can’t have, such as an estate in Oslo that was sold for a paltry 25 million kroner, the equivalent of around 3 million US dollars that had this adorable thing on its property:
So, really, I’m making the life choice of becoming a social worker for your benefit. Isn’t that nice of me? Because I want to help you. Let me help you. And the best way that I can help you is by not helping you at all and continuing to think only of myself, which is what I do best. Does that make sense?
To sum up, I am a part-time bookseller, part-time goat advocate and part-time graduate school applicant. I hope to provide you with some entertainment, but don’t complain if I don’t because I’ll be too busy rolling in my imaginary piles of dough to listen.
Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!
The Taste Maven